Haya Gets a Lap Dance, Pt. 4

“Um, music?” Ricci questioned.

Haya pointed a remote to the sound system and “Do Me Baby” rang out. A very fitting song, Ricci thought.

Ricci took her coat off and revealed she was wearing very little underneath. Leopard print Louboutins and a lingerie set were the evening’s clothing choices. The lingerie was a lacy white teddy that barely covered anything on Ricci’s curvy body. Her ass alone swallowed up the G-string and the fabric just held together by her big tits. The Louboutins added an extra touch, accentuating her long and athletic legs. Her long, ebony hair was pulled in a tight bun. Her makeup was flawless as usual, with just lip gloss, a touch of blush and mascara completing her look. As with her many private dances, Ricci took her time to get fully engrossed into the song, but it was never took too much time. She started by sitting on the chair, spreading her legs apart. She threw her head back and rolled her body to the piano notes of the song. It was almost as if Prince wrote the song with Ricci in mind.

Her hands cupped her bountiful breasts, peeling the tiny fabric that scarely covered them. She then moved her hands down to her shaven snatch, the one area that mesmerized Haya hours before at the club. Ricci knew what she was doing. Haya wanted a show; Ricci was giving her the best one $500 could buy. Meanwhile, Haya caught herself licking her lips again. Ricci had a gorgeous body but it was her pussy that had Haya delirious with heat. She wanted to taste it, lick it, nibble it, savor it and love it. She couldn’t wait to get her tongue on that beautiful clit and was getting very impatient that she had to wait.

Ricci surprised Haya by really putting on a show for her. She stuck a middle finger in her mouth and sucked it like it was a stiff cock. She then moved the finger down to her pussy and began rubbing it for Haya’s enjoyment. Her eyes locked with Haya’s, never leaving as she continued to play with herself. Ricci moaned softly and closed her eyes as her fingers feverishly worked her clit. She was about to cum and wanted Haya to cum with her.

“Haya, you wanna fuck me?” Ricci panted.

Haya moved off the couch and stood in front of Ricci. “Yes,” she softly moaned.

“You really want to fuck me?” Ricci moaned.

Haya kneeled in front of Ricci and was tempted to lick her pussy right then and there. It was so wet and smelled absolutely intoxicating. She imagined she could spend all night in Ricci’s hot cunt. “Fuck yeah,” she moaned.

Ricci switched hands and let Haya suck on her wet fingers. Haya hungrily licked Ricci’s fingers, tasting the woman’s pussy and wanting more. It was so delicious and Haya craved more. Her body was on fire and her pussy was wet with desire. Haya moved one of her fingers down to her pussy and began to finger herself. She wanted to fuck Ricci bad and didn’t know how much longer she could wait. She wanted to fuck Ricci bad and didn’t know how much longer she could wait.

“You wanna fuck me, Haya?” Ricci whispered again as she played with her pussy faster.

“Fuck yeah,” Haya moaned. She felt like she was about to climax anytime.

“Good,” Ricci abruptly stopped playing with herself and stood up, leaving Haya in shock. Ricci merely smiled as she began to put on her coat. She then kneeled down to Haya and whispered in her ear. “I don’t fuck clients who pay for it.” She then grabbed her envelope and left.

The queen of the mindfucks redeemed herself…this time…

"Pain is certain Suffering is optional"

A story to tell…

Have you ever felt the belt?  No Sir, only spankings

and so the scene begins

hands cuffed in steel behind her back…then instructed to lower her own slacks…but keep her thong on

walk over here dear..and kneel

bend over     turn your head to the side          Do you remember your safe word?  Use it and I will stop…as I’m not practiced in this                     Yes Sir

I start       slowly at first    feeling ass cheeks after each blow         SMACK!   x at least 20

(hissed in her ear)  do you know your safety word?  I get “into” it….but, in short..questioning why she hadn’t used it yet

Marks…marks from blows….slight blood on the edges….red welts

legs/thighs/buttocks/calves

(I could go on and on…I AM Sadistic?  I enjoy this?)

but…….

I stop before she indicates the need    (I cannot do more damage than I already have)

I finger your pussy…to the point that you ask permission to come….reward is given quickly

you come…in cuffed ankles and collar..I force you to hop to your bathroom mirror..to see the result

you gasp

“you didn’t use your safe word” 

No Sir…I didn’t need to

I feel your marks..the warmth emitted

And…..      then I suffer

What am I?

Rammstein Pussy - ce-i așa șocant?

Văleu maică au făcut drogații ăia de la Rammstein un clip cu pule, cu tot tacâmul.  Așa, și? Bravo lor! Păi dacă melodia-i cu pussy, cu ce vroiați să fie clipul? Cu norișori, îngerași, floricele? Bă, unii nu pricep și pace: dacă nu te duce capul, nu vorbi! Că trăncăneala airea nu te face mai deștept!

Și acum sincer… care dracu se mai sperie de-o pulă? Căscați ochii aici la varianta necenzurată și urechile pâlnie!

a masturbation story

I like to take really hot showers and get out with my skin still all pink heated. I go in my room and lay across my bed on my back and feel the fan blowing cool air against my moist skin. I feel the goose bumps start to form as the water dries. It is my favorite time to masturbate. I lay there exploring my breasts with my hands, gently pulling at my nipples until they are both rock hard and then pinching them just until they hurt. That spark of pain loosens the juices and I feel my pussy moisten and start to tingle. Spreading my legs to let the cool air from the fan meet the wet heat from between my thighs, I feel a sigh escape my lips as my hands begin to reach for the soft folds of flesh. As my fingers pull my pussy lips apart and begin a slow exploration of the wetness within I am thrilled with how wet, how heated I can make myself. I close my eyes and feel the tension begin to build as my fingers find the familiar tender places and begin to tickle and tease, spreading the wetness around and slipping into the heated depths. Behind my eyes runs a porn quality fantasy of my best friend and that crazy druken night we spent licking each other from head to toe in college. I can smell her hair and taste the sweet liquor flavored kisses of her mouth. I feel her nails run down my belly and it’s her hands making me moan. I see her tits in my face as she leans over me up on all fours inviting the dark stranger we picked up in the bar to have his way with her. I hear him moan and feel his body shudder as he buries his cock in her and begins to pound her from behind. her titties bounce in my face, he has a handful of her hair pulling her head back as the extacy escapes her lips on a sigh. I reach with my mouth and pull her nipple with my teeth, suckling on it – feeling it harden. A tear escapes her as I bite hard enough to hurt. The man encourages me as the pain made her wetter. Using my fingers I pull on the other nipple until she cries out. After another forceful pinch, I use my mouth to gently lick the nipples – holding her big beautiful breasts in my hands and she sighs with the softness that followed the pain. I hear him spank her and she cries out again. He uses the paddle we bought and spanks her other cheek. She moans, she giggles and she loses her next words into my kiss. The man continues to spank her until both her cheeks are pink and warm to the touch. gently he uses his hands to softly rub the same area he just used the paddle on. Pulling out of her, he brings his mouth to her ass and uses his tongue to apply soft kisses to the pain, pulling her ass up to his face he buries his face in her pussy and licks her until she cums. He has the small cat of ninetails whip in his hands and her eyes have gone big at the site of it. I feel my pussy tingle in anticiaption of the leather meeting the soft lips of her pussy. I watch as he spanks the soft feminine folds and see her eyes close with pleasure of it. He whips her pussy several times, softly licking her between each slap. Hearing her alternate cries from the pain and soft sighs from the pleasure of his mouth it is all I can do not to cum on the spot. Finally he turns her back over and pulls her ass towards him, she begs him to be gentle. He isn’t. He slams his huge, hard cock deep inside her swollen pussy sending tears down her face as a scream escapes her lips. He pushes her head into my pussy and she obediantly begins to feed on me. She is very good at it. Loves the taste of me on her tongue and soon he falls into a rthym from behind and between her moans she licks my swollen clit, alternating between a soft teasing lick and forceful one until I think there is no way I can stand it. She reaches back and finds my favorite dildo – 10 inches long and fat around. She looks devilishly at me and without a word shoves the entire 10″ in and begins to fuck me with the dildo. I can still feel her toung on my clit and the rythm of penetration is set by the stranger as he buries himself in her, banging hard from behind. I feel the climax building as she is screaming both our names and the dildo that has replaced her fingers slams into my pussy – arching my back, feeling her hair on my belly and thier moans, sounds of extacy in my ears feeling the fat dildo fill my pussy as the juices flow out of me, I feel myself cum, shuddering, shaking every muscle in my body tensed and the climax releases me and I cry out. Slowly I continue to carress the swollen clit and lips as my fantasy begins to shut down and reality floats back on the soft billow of the fan blowing on me. Smiling I bring my fingers to my lips and lick each one, tasting pussy….

jag tycker att alla bloggare som kan skriva skapar ett nytt socialt medie och lämnar "bloggandet" åt hor-maffian

Jag förstår inte grejen med att Kiss är så glad över att hon enligt bloggportalen är Sveriges “största” blogg. Det är ju enbart för att jag två inlägg ned Länkade till henne, självklart. Det är så bloggvärlden *fungerar*.

Alla koder, skrälla färger och fula pixlar drivs med. Hennes blogg suger och det vet hon – därför spelar hon på det enda hon kan “komma med”.. den blonda stereotypen. Ganska tragiskt.. Jag tycker lite synd om henne. Medioker brunett, flicka, oerhört lätt-ersatt stockholmsbo, som desperat provocerat sig upp till “bloggportalen”s topp. Vem bryr sig? Varför bryr folk sig..? Katrin sammanfattar allt jag tycker väldigt bra här…

SE FILMEN.

Tack för länken Oliver.

Car sex

(Warning: contains descriptions of sex.)

About mid-week the wife says that the kid is going out Friday evening at about 7:30 so that’ll be time for sex. That’s all well and good. And I guess I should be thankful for what I can get. It would be preferable if our love making was frequent enough so that an appointment would not be necessary.

How about a little spontaneity?! OK, I know, spontaneity goes out the window when kids get to be of certain age and continues until they leave the house. By that time you’re lucky if you’re young enough for even semi-regular sex.

Speaking of spontaneity … the most spontaneous and dangerous thing we ever did sexually was in a car. I suppose that may be true for a lot of people. But this instance wasn’t having quick intercourse in the back seat.

One time — before we were married — we were on a trip back home from somewhere. This was before I realized that my wife was rather inhibited.

It was dark. I was driving along a long, straight stretch of highway. There was little traffic around.

I reached over and put my hand between her legs. She said something but I didn’t stop. I started rubbing her. She was a bit surprised by it all but she seemed to like it.

After not too long I slipped my hand under the waistband of her jeans and panties. My fingers felt the mound of her lower tummy and then her pubic hair before finding her clitoris. Just then she unbuttoned her jeans giving me freer access.

She slid down in the seat a bit and spread her knees apart. After working her clit more I pushed my finger into her vagina and started moving in and out. She as very wet.

Every now and then a car would approach and I’d pull my hand out. Fortunately that was necessary just a few times. I stopped purely for safety’s sake. It was so dark no one would have been able to see what I was doing inside.

After the car passed I’d slip my hand under her panties again. I told her to pull her panties down more to allow me better access and an occasional glance at her pussy.

I worked a couple fingers inside her for awhile but then concentrated on her clitoris. After not too long she moaned loudly and clenched her legs together … what she usually did — and does — when she has an orgasm while I’m fingering her pussy.

By now I had a raging hard-on. As she pulled her panties and pants back up and buttoned her jeans I said, “what about me?”

She said, “no, it’s too dangerous and too messy.”

I’d like to say that when we got back to her place we had sex for hours. Unfortunately it was a long time ago and all I remember was fingering her.

I’m reminded of a couple years earlier. That was before I met my wife. I was returning home from an out-of-town business appointment. It was a Saturday and I was casually dressed. I started thinking of a woman I had just started dating. I was running various scenarios through my head as to how I would have sex with her the first time.

It didn’t take much of this daydreaming to give me a serious erection. I started rubbing my crotch now and then as I continued to imagine taking this woman’s clothes off.

It was about a two-hour drive and I just couldn’t get my fantasies of fucking this woman out of my head. I kept driving and kept rubbing. Back then I was a pretty accomplished masturbater and could control myself. But this time — maybe because I was paying more attention to driving — I suddenly realized that I was about to cum in my pants and it was too late to stop it from happening.

Bleh, what a mess — and I was still 45 minutes from home. It wasn’t a particularly comfortable ride. That’s one I wouldn’t forget.

Other than kissing I never had any other sex in a car. Oh well. There are a lot better places.

These days the wife and I stick to the bedroom because that’s where she wants to do it. Years ago we had the “couch position” that she particularly liked. It was nothing complicated. I’d sit on the couch with my legs wide and then she’d sit on my penis facing away from me. She could ride me and I could watch her ass go up and down as my penis went in and out of her … very nice.

As I was saying in the beginning … we had an appointment for sex on Friday night. Unfortunately I got a call from work and something needed to be handled right away, so instead of riding the wife I was riding my damn laptop.

Saturday morning, however, we did do it; missionary style the whole way. Think we’ll do it again this month?

To the young guys.

This is your Captain speaking……….welcome aboard fuckers.

This is a message for all the younger guys out there.  I know it sucks because women your age are not giving you the time of day right now, but trust me.  Keep working on your career and your dreams and you will be amazed at how great your life will be.  You have NO idea how successful you can or will be when you’re 19 or 20.  The last thing you want to do is to get bogged down with some bitch and even worse if you knock the bitch up.

I’m not saying that you have to pay for pussy like a hooker, although there is some truth to that, but what I’m saying is that the more successful you become, the more doors will open and the more options you will have in your life.  Not just with women, but with every aspect of your life.

It kills me to see young guys settle for some local piece of ass that they knocked up and end up giving up all their hopes and dreams, just to slave away to support some bitch and “do the right thing”.  Well, that’s the wrong fucking thing gentlemen!

Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by settling down with your highschool sweetheart.  Don’t date single mothers and do not have a serious relationship until AFTER you have realized your dreams.  Even then, a serious relationship offers no benefits to a guy that he cant get by banging multiple women.

Stay true to yourselves guys, don’t fall into the money pit of marriage and kids.  Live your life the way that you want it and not how some bitch is nagging you to live it.

Until next time fuckers.

You’re now free to move about Wall Street.

La Diva Spa fest

La Diva known world wide from the streets of paris to the runways of australia to the largest crusie ship La Diva in Italy . La Diva was discovered walking the streets of paris at the tender age of just 16 her fame grew quikly and all the best designers were fighting for her to model for them …by the time she was 25 La Diva with her stunning cheek bones here undenyingly beautuful eyes and yes those legs that fasinated the world …was now getting payed 1.3 million per walk down each runway her face and body .the cover of every magazine made La Diva broke records over and over again she was the star .as her fame grew she ofcourse had less time for her .she use to have her mother as support but as she became more famous it didnt take long for her managers to worm ther way in and keep her mother away from her only daughter … La Diva was kept so busy she didnt notice ..before she knew it she was 30 ..she still had not ever had a real relashionship with a man … even at 30 she was still in demand more than ever …modeling lipsticks ..shoots for perfumes ..interviews …she loved the poelple and took time to be with them when ever she could she was the peoples model not untouchable like the others ..she was known as the sweet down to earth model …all ahe craved was time to herslef ..time alone in her vila .ofcourse she loved nothing but the finer things in life and why not she had to work hard enough for them all .everythink she owned was throu hard work ..models dont live lives of easy street and glamour back stage …its all blood sweat and tears and La diva has done it since she was 16 ..she cant even remember her normal life anymore ….

　

　

gone are the memories of her childhood ..of her school days with her best girlfeinds dressing up with them and talking about boys ….her world is so diffrent now ..there is no love in this business its all fake . La diva learnt that lesson well when she fell in love with manuel pierre ..they met in spain on a modeling shoot he took her breath away ..they spent there time together in there condo that they both brought together near lake monnoe there they both sat drinking there wine watching the sun rise and fall.and making love on there glass windowed balcony …..

he was the most passionat man she had ever met .the kissing of her hand .the generous jewels he gave to her and the time they spend was so full of making love .. he was the best lover she had ever had in her life…on there first aniversary she came back to the condo after a day shooting in the hot hot sun .as soon as she opend the door she could see the dinner table set up on the balcony white linen cloth on the table white dinner plates full of the most glorious oysters and two crystal glasses full of champane .from out of the kitchen came her man manuel in nothing but a white towel wrapped around half his body …he slips her bag from off her shoulders slowly and delicatley kisses her neck and guides her to her seat

let us share in these delights first then we shall share in the delights of each other ….she sipped her wine and eat those oysters the same way she likes to take his body in her mouth.and slowly caress every inch of its smoothness and texture….then swollows him whole …but first La Diva is treated more like a Queen .manuel runs a bath for her he covers the floor with soft velvety cloth so her feet dont touch the cold floor the bath filled with bubbles .candles all over the room the smell of perfumes fills the air …manuel takes her hand and eases her into her bath then like a gentlemen he leaves the room for 15 minutes giving La Diva time to rest and relax ..she hears music comming from the bedroom and the clinking of chamane glasses as he prepares there bedroom for love

La Diva now all relaxed and feeling fresh …is ready to celbrate ther first aniversary ..she hopes out the bubble bath puts on her short white robe opends the door and stands there waiting to be seen by manuel ….he is franticly moving about there bedroom making everything just perfect for her arrival…he sees her out the corner of his eye there is his vision of beauty he stops suddenly and turns to her walking upto her with her glass of champane his robe drops to the floor just as he is inches away from her …..

　

her mouth drops open as she laughs in that girly way she does best …makes all the men shake in there pants ….”happy aniversary to you too La Diva says to manuel as she drops to her knees still all wet her robe drops around her shoulders her hands come up to grab a hold of his well endowed penis two hands are needed for this french fello she lovingly wraps her lips around his shaft pouting her lips around him she slids with ease all around him she sucks hard then she sucks soft;y then she moves fast then she mooves slow …… her in and out thrusts is what makes not just manuel but all men cum so fast ..he blew so much he could see drops of it dripping from the side of her mouth before she could swollow every drop ……..but in then end this was not the relashionship she thought it was .she showed him love and he showed it back to other women …

years went by and La diva vowed never to love again so instead she worked hard renewing her fame once again she came back time and time again with her fame people never wearing of her they always wanted more and more from her ..back stage is where she found her real friends her good friends that would stick by her no matter what .for years she worked with her own private makeup artist loz he was so petite and light on his step always wearing the brightest of coloured outfits and making everyone laugh …then her other best friend in the world was Bob he was the dress hemer for the models he ran around frnaticly with needle and thread in hand at each fashion parade

　

Move it :move it he screams as he runs around the place .. ladies you dont wont me to prick you now …..no Diva bob we know we all cant handle your prick : thats the joke going around between bob and the models he has said it for years ..its just one one those moments they all need to ahve to relax and bob knows it and does what he can to help them relax that is also why Poppa Loz wears the most outlandish clothes of all to keep the models happy and laughing throu out the night the boys have become like a team now getting famous themselves behind the sceens they become two of La Diva best friends someone she confides in some one who is there throu her bad times …..

La diva often invites both the men over to share in a drink and a spa on those hot lonely nights ..just for some company and friendship this night was no diffrent ..althou it was to celarate her 5th year single and free from manuel .she was a little sad to say the least ..the door rang it was Loz with a big bunch of flowers and a box of La divas favourite belguim turkish delights .bob was exhuberantly running behind Loz with 4 bottles of the finest bubbly .Loz calls out in his hight pitched voice .’now bob if you drop them and break just one bottle youll have La Diva in hospital on oxygen now slow down darling ….settle down the night is still young ..both men try an attenmpt to walk in the door at the very same time ..making poor sad La Diva laugh …Bob and Loz looked at each other with a sigh they say ..there “the job is done ..they put a smile on her face …they sat around the kitchen table consoling La Diva as she wept ..then laughed ..then wept some more ….they shared in a beautiful indian dinner with loads of wine ofcourse …

　

night falls and after dinner they do deside to get into the spa but only for a bit …all the wins had been drunk so while bob and la diva get in the spa Loz goes and gets a bottle of wine from the cellar ..as he comes out the big doors they see him wearing the brightest most tighest and pinkest shorts they have ever seen before …laughing profusly at his rather large talents peeking throu the side of the short …there a bi to tight to even contain his extra large man meat ..dive raises her eyes brows and smiles …bob puts the bubble jets on full speed as loz gets in making his shorts bubble with pockets of air .bob thrn jumps up too and shows off how big his bubble pockets can get tooo …La diva is so happy now she has forgoten all about the past 5 years in her life the drugs the men .the women ..even manuel disapears there joys of laughter fill the street as it echos down thou the stillness of the night .then they all go into a silence as each takes there corner sits with head back and enjoys the sensations of those damn big bubbles …after a silent pause of 15 minutes they begin quietly chatting again ….. both letting La diva know how special she is .as they move closer ..her breasts are bouncing around with the bubbles the boys take of there pants ans throw them as far as they could ……….then diva turns and does the same surprising the men ..with a count of one two three they all jump out the spa run and collect there small items and jump back in thinking this is hillarious …..La diva collects all in her hand and throws them to the floor ..enough boys ………i wont some fun …they both edge closer to her ..she reachers her neck out and kisses loz passionaly on the mouth Bob not wonting to miss any action moves in and carreses her breast while waiting his turn patiently

Loz hands move around her hips as she turns to kiss bob La diva turns the bubbles down to a gentle hush with both men now feeling her voluptuous body. her hands silently take a hold of both of there penis as she begins to rub them softly at first both the men each share in her body while she pleasures them both they each glide there hands to her inner thighs she moves her legs apart allowing each man to get even closer to her pleasure zone they feel the bubbles rushing up betwen her legs … she pulls them harder throu the water kissing each in turn twisting her tounge around theres .like a serpant there hands reaching higher and higher as each man reaches her delicate pink pussy they each enter inside her at the same time gently pushing and releasing into her .the three bodys intertwine in a firery heat explotion La diva;s body almost nearing orgasmic explosion . desides throu her amazing sence of feel that Loz is just 2 mm bigger than bob she sits up half out the water facing out with her supple peachy ass out Loz enters her from behind .Bob is not left thou ..oh no .La diva can handle more than these two mere mortals at any one encounter ..bob stands up and she takes a hold of him by her mouth she sucks him hard and deep into her throat in and out as Loz does the same from behind them the mass of bodys tense and shutter with excitment .

as steam rises from each of them .the pastion the heat to strong to bare, the madness depends the movements faster, the breathing heavier and .there bodys all colide in one spectacular orgasm as they cum together like a syphony orchestra .bodys all intune as if one…as la diva turns and licks her lips they all slide deep under the water and when they all rose again ……they all clink there champane glasses together in a toast …place them down …and start all over again ……

"Blitzkrieg mit dem Fleischgewehr"

Länge och väl har jag tänkt på hur jag skulle kommentera Rammsteins nya (NSFW) “porr-video”. Och det enda som faller mig in är att säga: “FAN!”

Det mesta av det politiskt inkorrekta såsom knulla hemhjälpen, borra sekreteraren, horor, shemales*, BDSM och sexhotell är som att tyskarna ger alla andra en lavett. En riktig lavett.

Jag kan tänka mig (såsom nef skriver [med bättre ord]) att många börjar klaga på att hårdrocken inte har världens vackraste kvinnosyn, när videon egentligen drar upp långfingret åt censuren och dagens “skydda-barnen-samhälle”. Tänk hårdrock som 70-talets punk. Det anarkistiska och politiskt inkorrekta. Det drog-, sex- och religions-liberala. En länk i yttrandefrihetens långa kedja.

För vad är det för fel med att leva livet så som man själv vill leva den? Vad är det för fel med att fånga livet på sitt eget sätt? Vad är det för fel med frihet?

“So take me now before it’s too late. Life’s too short, I can’t wait.”

*Flake är shemale! (se själv: 3:36 & 3:38)

Rammstein Hires German Goo Girls for New Music Video. NSFW!

That’s a screen cap of Rammstein’s latest, “Pussy.” The last time I heard about these guys, I was on the other end of the music industry, pitching press releases to bloggers and writers.  Well, it’s been a few years since then and they have been quiet – until now. I’m pretty sure its safe to say that titties will put you back in the spotlight after a long absence.

I don’t really have to tell you that this is NSFW. You’ll never find this on youtube, so watch it here.

alfonsozayas (11:19:57 AM): im gonna write about the new rammstein video theaudioperv (11:20:10 AM): haha. isnt it great alfonsozayas (11:20:24 AM): not gonna lie, i got a boner

Lambchop + Placenta = PBS

Hey, cocksucker! Yeah, you in the taco hat. I have some questions.

What happens if you try to rape a masochist? One of those chicks who like to be called whores (which is convenient, because that’s what I call them anyway) and held down? Would she report it, or would she start calling her friends to brag about how she got ass-fisted in a dark alley? As a rapist, would that kill the turgid loin roast? What if she was into it, but fought back like she wasn’t? Would it be like a challenge to make her sorry she ever wore that “Rape Me, Mister!” tank top? You could nail her tits to the top of a dumpster and lop off her toes with bolt cutters and make her eat them while you cut holes in her thighs and put your balls inside and jerk off. But there’s still a chance she’s a total pain slut and she’ll recount the whole thing on Facebook, talking about how “hawt” it was to almost bleed to death. My rule of thumb: if she cums, you’re not going to prison.

If poor countries are so good at growing chocolate and making clothes, why don’t we buy them and turn them into factories? They’re fucking poor. Offer them a black-and-white tv to put by the community well and they’ll be on our side. Give them something to do, pay them in rice, and we get the same shit we’re buying now, but without all the fees. If they’re really good, import them to the States to be hookers and waiters and let them send some extra rice home to their billions of cross-eyed cousins. Turn the rich countries into vacation destinations and let the poor here do stuff like serving hamburgers and refilling ATMs. The entire economy can be based on the fact that we kick ass and everyone wants to come here. It’s been working for fucking Europe for years!

If abstinence is so great, why do so many Catholics girls have herpes? I mean, I don’t have real statistics, but I’ve seen the sores. And isn’t it convenient that these chaste women tend to marry chaste men, so neither of them ever hear about how fucking terrible they are? That, or the men have been fucking around and can’t say anything because that would let the pussy out of the bag. Why are priests constantly getting caught with their cocks in some kid or teen or other guy’s wife (who’s probably just searching for an orgasm because her husband has to reference the encyclopedia to remember what he’s doing)? I’m just saying… Spread your legs at a frat kegger and you’re fucked once or twice, maybe six times at the most. Keep yourself in the dark until a four-inch “great father” comes along and you’re fucked forever.

If weed’s such a powerful and evil drug, why aren’t potheads shiving each other in dark alleys? If it’s so detrimental to life, how have smokers I know moved into managerial positions, gotten married and raised children? I’d rather be in an argument with someone who’s high than someone who’s drunk. The guy who’s drunk isn’t going to start laughing in the middle of a stare-down and invite me over to play Pac-Man. Some of the effects are similar: both pot and beer will get your cock sucked. Only if you’re drunk, you’ll pass out and puke in her hair. And alcohol hasn’t done shit for California’s budget. 500,000 acres of vineyard is fucking stupid. Let’s say 200 g per plant, divided by market cost, offset by weather and the derivative of the Nikkei index… Fuck. Well, this guy says about 24 million a year, per acre. Grapes can suck my independently wealthy asshole.

I have more questions… but I need to get some clit typing done. So you’ll just have to tune in to my new PBS special. They wouldn’t let me finish taping it because I “use foul language” and “bit the production designer’s nipple.” But I’ve spliced it together with some infrared horse porn and the pilot for my puppet-based series: Frannie Fetus and Me. (Think Lambchop with more placenta.) As soon as I can get eFukt to host it, I’ll post a link. These guys are so big on censorship…

A Drive In The Country...HIS Perspective

I finally got to see W…the famine ended.

We met in our spot. A long, lingering kiss. Many more little kisses. Laying on a blanket. So nice, sunny, breezy. Cool. Sparkling sun.

We talked, caught up on the week for the events in both of our lives. It had been days since we’d talked. Emails and chat are decent enough substitutes when you really can’t talk on the phone. They can’t hold a candle to actually talking in person.

I kept staring into her beautiful eyes.

She told me that today was about me; that she wanted to make me cum. She suggested road head; I’d never had it before. I was secretly thinking of suggesting it, but she beat me to the punch.

She thought she was hungry, so we went to a local restaurant, but we didn’t order any food. We sat and talked. A lot. One of the best conversations we’ve ever had.

After a while, it was time to go.

I drove her car.

I quickly got us on the freeway; I had a country road in the middle of nowhere in mind. I couldn’t stop smiling with the idea of road head. I was actually a little worried– not so much about being caught. I figured we wouldn’t have to worry about the police. I did worry about being able to control the car; W is an expert at what she is able to do with her mouth. She drives me crazy. I love it.

It wasn’t long before she had me unzipped and was playing with my cock, her hand and my cock hidden under my shirt.

Once we had been on the freeway for a while, we hit a stretch of road where there weren’t cars in front of behind of us for several hundred yards, and we were keeping pace with traffic.

“Please put my cock in your mouth,” I half asked, half pleaded her.

She obliged, unbuckling the seatbelt and bending over. He mouth felt incredible– warm, wet, soft. Completely fuckable. I had the car on cruise control, and I was managing to steer pretty well.

And so it went for a mile, two or three, at best. After a while, I could see a car coming up behind us.  I asked her to get up. She did, but I sighed a long sigh.

We traveled a few more miles. The exit came upon us quickly. It took a few more minutes to come to the ideal country road; no stoplight, paved, two lane. Farms on either side. Perfect.

“Ok, I think it’s time,” I told her.

Actually, I don’t remember exactly what I told her, I just told her something because all I could think about was her mouth on my cock.

She swallowed me whole. Her technique is amazing, gentle, teasing at times, fierce and urgent at others. During the whole time I was trying to keep my eyes on the road, which wasn’t easy, given the fact that a beautiful woman was sucking my cock and all I had to do was glance down in order to see it.

I managed to keep my speed close to what I thought the limit was; I hadn’t seen any signs, but wasn’t that worried. I also was able to keep in my lane, no doubt a testament to all of the racing videogames I played as a kid. The road was mercifully straight most of the journey, but there were a few gentle turns.

She kept up her ministrations to my member. (Alliteration, anyone?)

 I no time, I knew I was going to cum. It was unbelievable. I kept my eyes open. (We had actually talked about this earlier, if I would be able to keep them open or not. I knew I had to. She thought I would.)

And still she kept sucking while I kept cumming.

I pulled over in the gravel driveway of a farm. I gave her a kiss, zipped up and told her it was time to return the favor.

I turned the car around and pulled back onto the country road we had just driven down.

My hand went instinctively between her legs. She was so wet to the touch, a welcome sensation. She spread her legs (as much as was possible in her car) and I drove with my left hand and fingered her with my right. In no time, her legs began to shake and her breathing grew heavy. She was cumming. Moaning.

She was loud. Very loud. Maybe it was the small car, I don’t know. In any case it was nice to hear her be so loud.

I got her off again a few hundred feet before we turned onto the road that led to the interstate, which led to our divergence back into our regular lives.

For now.

I miss you, W.

-R-

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Cunts are never happy!

This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers.

There’s an old guy from Brooklyn on YouTube who did a video about how no matter what you do for a woman, it’s never good enough.  Well, the Kid from Brooklyn is right!

When I married my wife I was working a blue collar job and going to school.  Of  course AFTER the marriage she loved to tell me how my back-breaking labor and attending class didn’t compare to her government office job.  Why?  Because she had to supervise 3 or 4 people.  Nice huh.

Now I’m going to school full-time to get my MBA and I work full time in the financial industry making 3 times as much as I did then and guess what?  Yes, her low level government job is sooooooo much more stressfull than my full time job and student status.

They’re never fucking happy, they never lose that bullshit victim mentality.  Not to mention the fact that when she talks to her jabber-jaw fucking friends, she tries to take credit for what I’ve done.  Nevermind the fucking fact that I can’t even study in my own home.

That’s right, its just like on Sundays fellas, you’ve been there when its game time and that’s when she decides to fire up the vaccum.  Its passive aggressive bullshit like that, always interupting, complaining about some stupid shit, anything to keep me from doing my work but yet the bitch wants to take fucking credit.

Having a wife has been a handicap when it comes to my career and my education.  Hands fucking down!

Don’t make the same mistake I made guys.  If you aren’t meeting the women that you want to meet, look up some PUA information, its everywhere on the web and it does work.  DO NOT FUCKING SETTLE!!!!

It make take me a minute to get out, but I am getting the fuck out of this mess and I am NEVER getting married or living with a bitch ever again!

You’re now free to do shots about the cabin……

[Via http://no2marriage.wordpress.com]

Sexy, hot, erotic stories that will make your pussy cream and your cock hard.

“The New York City Bad Boy” is an erotic ROMANCE novella blog, and slowly builds the sexual tension. You must start at “The New York City Bad Boy” posting at the beginning of this blog – August 13, 2009 – and read every day after to read it in order. If you want short, steamy erotic stories that get straight to the sex, check out “Cougar Stories” by Romance Columnist Kate Mercer on the RSS Feed

[Via http://tangledembrace.wordpress.com]

Mis últimas novedades musicales (II)

Bueeeno bueeno bueno… Aquí vuelvo de nuevo para contaros lo que he estado escuchando durante las vacaciones!

Desde que publiqué el anterior capítulo de novedades al comenzar el verano la verdad es que no me han llegado muchas cosas interesantes pero eso sí, lo poco que se ha salvado es de gran calidad.

Muse con su líder Matt Bellamy en el centro

>>> Empezamos con los dos singles de adelanto del próximo disco de Muse, llamado The Resistance y que en principio está previsto que salga a la calle este mismo 15 de Septiembre. La primera toma de contacto fue este United States of Eurasia con el que os dejo:

¿Alguna primera impresión…? ¡A mí al instante se me vino la imagen del mismísimo Freddie Mercury y su Bohemian Rhapsody a la mente!. Pensadlo bien si no habéis llegado a esa conclusión: fusión total con la música clásica, cinco minutos de duración, coros clavaditos, piano lento y melódico… En fin, entrando en el posible debate de si es un plagio descarado o una especie de homenaje/inspiración he de decir rotundamente que me decanto por la segunda opción ya que aún así el tema lleva el inconfundible sello de la banda.

En fin, tras este sonoro JUAS os presento el segundo single adelanto, Uprising, que sigue claramente la línea del último álbum de la banda y probablemente sea un mensaje de tranquilidad para el gran público llano que no soporta los experimentos y se esperaba una continuación de su anterior trabajo.

>>> Cambiamos de tercio a unos chicos bastante más rudos y duros pero menos virtuosos y civilizados… Me refiero a los alemanes Rammstein.

Los alemanes Rammstein con sus uniformes insdustrio-militar

Desde que Rosenrot agotara todo lo que tenían compuesto han estado unos años escribiendo nuevo material y ya está todo prácticamente listo para su estreno en Octubre. El 18 de Septiembre lanzarán además un single llamado Pussy y ya os adelanto que será lo suficientemente provocativo como para levantar ampollas otra vez.

De momento os dejo con esta pequeña filtración/muestra de la grabación de uno de las nuevas canciones, la prometedora y cañera Mëhr.

>> Seguimos con un redescubrimiento que he tenido la suerte de realizar, los ingleses Elbow y sobretodo su último trabajo que fue publicado el año pasado, The Seldom Seen Kid.

Con una mezcolanza de sonidos cercana a Radiohead, Coldplay, U2 o incluso R.E.M. esta inusual banda de tardía maduración ha logrado por fin triunfar en su tierra. De hecho gustan tanto en Reino Unido que están a punto de lanzar un impresionante disco en directo con la orquesta de la BBC a sus órdenes… Os dejo con mis dos temas favoritos que tienen una puntuación personal de AWESOME (¡sobretodo el segundo!):

>> Los siguientes en ser presentados son el dúo Goldfrapp, otro conjunto atípico de músicas y formas poco corrientes llenas de ritmos pausados, melodías oníricas y sintetizadores experimentales. La verdad es que, como a Elbow, les conocía de hace bastante pero nunca se me había ocurrido profundizar en ellos hasta que hace unos días mi compañera de trabajo Alba (graciaaas! ) me recomendó los dos temas que ahora mismo os voy a mostrar.

En primer lugar va la melancólica Lovely Head, el primer sencillo de su carrera y con la que lograron hacerse un hueco rápidamente…

…Y en segundo lugar la más rara y mi preferida, Utopia, a la que considero una obra maestra desde que la escuché por primera vez hace unos días:

>> Por último y tras este baño de chill out y electrónica experimental os dejo con otro gran descubrimiento que he almacenado en mi ignorante y vacía despensa musical… ¿De quién podía ser? ¿Quién podría estar de por medio?

Exacto. El inefable Michael Jackson y sus cuatro hermanos tras esas enooooooooormes bolas de pelo… En otras palabras, Los Jackson Five.

Y es que fue un gran fallo por mi parte tener controlada la obra musical de Jacko y no haberme fijado antes en sus comienzos junto a sus hermanos… (aunque últimamente lo hayamos tenido hasta en la sopa hasta aburrirnos). Aparte de los clásicos ABC y I Want You Back en general no me entusiasman hasta que me fijé en Can You Feel It, un tema de una enorme energía y alegría y cuyo estribillo se me pega como las lapas. Ojito con el vídeo, que por lo visto allá por 1981 estaba a la vanguardia en el apartado de efectos especiales:

[Via http://exopolis.wordpress.com]

NUDE GALLERY Part III

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NUDE GALLERY Part III

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NUDE GALLERY Part III

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[Via http://eroticz.wordpress.com]